Well, it finally happened. Something I told myself would never happen to me, just happened last night. Noah cut his hair! Cue the world’s tiniest violin. Why do I say that? Because I know that so many other moms have been down this road before. But that didn’t make it any easier!
So why do I want to talk about it? Because it’s a moment in time that allowed for growth. I learned a lesson from it and, as with many of my life lessons, I like to share those lessons with you all! As parents, we need to practice grace, patience and forgiveness daily! And not just with our children. If we can implement these daily practices to help shape our parenting, I think we’d be proud of our journey in Parenthood.
The Final Cut
It started off as a great day. A slow Sunday morning with pancakes, dance parties and enjoying time together as a family. We had no where to be and we took full advantage of that! Here’s a few awesome things I can note about the day:
- Ryan’s nap lasted 2.5 hours – which is super long by Ryan’s standards!
- I went to my second Yoga class and had some wonderful “Me time”
- The boys played outside with Lou while I went to Yoga and enjoyed the beautiful weather we’ve been so patiently waiting for!
When I got home from my Yoga class, I switched off with Lou and he started cooking dinner while I entertained the boys. I went into the playroom with them and Noah begged me to play some Nintendo with him. And even though it’s my least favorite thing to do (Smash Bros. is not my kind of game), I did it because I knew how much he wanted me to play with him! I played 4 rounds with him and then slid out of the room and left him to play by himself. He came into the kitchen to see when dinner was going to be ready and then he disappeared. I thought he went back to playing, but he had bigger plans!
I found him in the bathroom, with his arts and craft scissors in one hand, and a chunk of his hair in another!
The Meltdown [Mama’s, not the child’s]
What happened next was not my finest moment. I threw my hands up and yelled out to Lou in a panic “Babe, Noah cut his hair!” He ran to the bathroom in a panic (because I yelled to him as if one of our children had seriously injured themselves) and I repeated “Noah cut his hair!” And so he followed my lead and panicked too!
To be fair, I think we were both in shock. We couldn’t understand why he would cut his hair. Not only does he know that he shouldn’t be using scissors without us around, but Noah’s not the type of kid to do something like this. He’s always really followed the rules, and has always “stayed within the lines” if that even makes sense.
We were both pretty devastated by the day’s events. The poor kid has a pretty noticeable bald spot right in front! But when we finally had a chance to reflect and talk about what happened, we both agreed that we did a horrible job handling the situation. We should have been calm, we should have gotten to the root cause, we should have shown love and grace. But we didn’t. And it’s something we both feel terrible about.
The good news is, even when you mess up, you can fix it! Just because we are parents, doesn’t mean we can’t apologize to our children when we make a mistake. If we overreact or respond to a situation incorrectly, then we need to ask for forgiveness. And that’s exactly what we did. We made sure to apologize to Noah for overreacting, after all, hair grows back! We explained to him that we were just surprised by it and we had a conversation with him to really try and get down to why he thought it was a good idea to cut his hair. And at the end of the conversation we know that he felt not only better, but he felt love instead of shame.
I’m still not sure whether he did it because he was looking for attention, or if he was just curious and using it as a way to express himself (thank you google for the parenting help 😉 ). He’s made comments that could suggest both “maybe I was a little jealous” and “I thought my hair needed to be fixed so I cut it.”
Daily Practices to Help Shape Your Parenting
Grace, Patience and Forgiveness
All of this to say, Mamas (and dada’s for that matter), we are all doing our best. With every age, we are entering new, unknown territory. We need to make sure that on a daily basis we are practicing grace, patience, and forgiveness with our children but also with OURSELVES! We are learning as we go, and that’s ok! And if we don’t get it right for one monumental moment, I’m sure the next is right around the corner. 😉
At the end of the day, his hacked hair is a minor inconvenience in the big picture. He’s healthy, beautiful and above all, extremely loved! I’m making it my goal to implement these daily practices to help shape my parenting!